Sugar Soap Opera: The Bold & The Beautiful Pt. II

Don't Let Haters Get Me Off My Grind
Whip My Hair, If I Know I'll Be Fine
Keep Fighting Until I Get There
When I'm Down And I Feel Like Giving Up

(chorus X2)
I Whip My Hair Back And Forth
I Whip My Hair Back And Forth (just Whip It)
I Whip My Hair Back And Forth
I Whip My Hair Back And Forth (whip It Real Good)
Whip My Hair - Willow Smith

I got my annual weave! I get a weave one time a year since I was probs 18 yrs old…I am very "tender-headed" so to find someone to braid my hair and deal with the fact tears may start rolling down my face can be challenging. As well as, finding someone with skills and not braid my hair so tight brain matter begins to be pulled out :- ( Anywho, I got this "Diana Ross-esque" hairstyle, except I put flexi rods in the hair left out so it matches the texture properly. Right now, I am hella Kanye West with my hair, "You can't tell me nothing'!" Haha:- )

Daddy Warbucks

Soooo much to update you on with this guy that I am just going to bullet point them like I have in the past:

×          Turns out the current escort he has been involved with has been around since 2010...Apparently, he contacted her towards the end of that year. They met for introductory lunch and then she feel off the map. He decided to look her up again towards the end of last year for reasons I will later tell and they have been "interacting" ever since. He told me she is "too much drama" and he "didn't sign up for this", so he is planning on going his separate way. Whatevs!

×          There was ANOTHER escort before the current one that he had sex w/ 7-8 times, because he realized it wasn't that good. Yes, ladies it took 7-8 times for him to realize the sex wasn't that great! When I questioned him on that point he said, "After not having sex for over 10 years anything seemed good at first."

×          Reason #1 for why he decided to reach out to the escort again: I didn't seem interested in him any longer, so he thought he would reach out elsewhere. I stated, "Let's just say I was interested in you…all you did was discuss "former SB's name" constantly with me via email and in person all the time. And you spoke about someone else "college girl's name" constantly. When, if I was interested in you, was I supposed to develop these feelings when you constantly spoke about other ladies and how you were helping them or still hung up on them?"

×          Reason #2 for why he decided to reach out to the escort again: He needed more sexual experience before attempting to do anything with me. On this reason I just looked at him like he was stupid, because that had to be THE MOST asinine rationale I had ever heard…I couldn't even formulate words I think I just stared at him like he was stupid and made some disapproving sound. Get the fuck out of here! You fucked an escort to get more experience sexually before you attempted to make a move on me?!

×          Oh yeah, he told me he was ALWAYS focused on me, that the others mean nothing that it is only me that he cares about and is focused on…Uhhhh, what's that you say? Then, why do I know everything and then some about the lives of the other ladies if it was "all about me"?

×          On my way home from trip with T&Co. I get an email explaining how bad home life is and that he is possibly seeking out a divorce lawyer to see how much he would lose in a divorce.

×          A few days ago he lets me know he went on a job interview with a startup…Apparently, a couple of years ago a group of peeps quit the current company he works at and started a new one. He is thinking about leaving his current job and going to the startup…selling all his shares in the profitable business and putting them into the brand new biz. Yes, you can strike it rich if you get in on the ground floor, but…

   

Good gracious, Charlie Brown! That is a whole lot for someone who no longer gives me any extra $$$$$ like he did last year and as of May will pay only ½ my rent…I will keep him around, as long as, he is doing a lil something especially since I only hang out with him maybe 1x/mth, but even still, I am on the fence with him…Total back burner.

  

He did send me a cute Easter bouquet though…

   

Sugar Hunt

 

I am super excited to get "back on the scene with a gangsta lean…" I must admit I miss the meeting of brand new interesting characters. I mean, Mr. No Neck, Hot Tub Guy, Mr. Hideaway, etc. you can't make that sh*t up! Getting all "prettied up" and having the trip over themselves when they see me in real life….On the flipside, I do NOT like dealing with the time wasters, pic collectors, pervs, etc.

  

I have finished the wording on my profile and will probs add myself this weekend…Here's to my good Sugar Hunt luck!

　

 

Genotype vs. Phenotype

<> <>

Genotype: the genetic makeup of an organism or group of organisms with reference to a single trait		Phenotype: the appearance of an organism resulting from the interaction of the genotype and the environment

I just posted a comment on another SB blog regarding skin color and your genetic makeup. It got me thinking and don't know if either of you experience this issue but here goes…

I note a lot of women of color on the sites what to put their lineage down, hence the option of "mixed" and/or "other". I know when I first started on the sites I would put "mixed" as I myself am Spanish (grandmother came from Spain in her teens) and Trinidadian (great grandparents came here in their youth). At the end of the day, the world sees me as another "black girl". My lineage is apparent in my real name and my specific physical features, so guys normally end up asking me anyways though.

I am not afraid to say, I know for myself, I made the distinction as "mixed" originally becaus I thought "black"/African American would be off putting to guys (American history and all)…then I had a chat with a couple of girlfriends and came to the realization the dude's ONLY care about what you look like (phenotype) when it comes to "race choice". You can always tell them the specifics on your profile, via email, or in person when you see them, but at the end of the day if you have any shade of brown skin you are "black"/African American. To be considered "mixed" in most eyes, you must have Halle Berry or Tiger Woods complexion of skin.

When I said, "Fuck it" and just went with that option I was absolutely surprised and that's when I learned what my THANG was. My thang/hook/what attracts the men: I was the educated black girl all the older guys wanted when they were younger but it was still taboo. When I setup my Ashley Madison account with the "black"/African American option chosen I got sooooooooooo many emails and such when I put "black/African American" versus "mixed" or "other". AM temporarily suspended my account because in the first day or 2 alone I had so much interest my account got flagged. I go into lineage via email…I use to put a line about it in my profile, but then I stopped bcuz it wasn't necessary at the end of the day. I don't walk around telling people my background normally unless they ask so why would I on the sites when all I care about is the dude's personality and how much of his money is he willingly to share with me!

♥ Butterfly Kisses ♥ 

Sugar Soap Opera: The Bold & The Beautiful

O-M-G! You done lost yo motherfucking mind!

You Must Have Lost Yo Mind
you must've just lost yo mind (yo mind)
you must've just lost yo mind (yo mind)

"Lost yo mind" -Beyonce

　

Buckle up, ladies, it's going to be a LONG, BUMPY ride…

Non Sugar stuff…

Updating on the status of the nonstop chatty black guy I went out with once before…Well, I hadn't heard from him until last Thursday at 10ish pm. He had flown to the East Coast for some work stuff.  I didn't pick up the phone because I believe in setting a precedent (any act, decision, or case that serves as a guide or justification for subsequent situations)…Most guys who call you at that hour have a specific purpose on their mind (excluding those whose work schedules don't permit earlier calls). Plus, I already told him I don't accept "new guy" calls after 9:00pm. So, he called me yesterday during work which just went to voicemail and then on my way home from work.  I picked up…he tried to do the last, last minute date BS with me. Nope, you aren't going to fit me into YOUR schedule, you will fit into MINE.  I told him, "Sorry, no, I am relaxing in for the evening." Finally, we set a date for next Friday.  He tried to play that "Well, I don't know if I will be available or interested by then. Most ladies lose out because I lose interest." NEGRO, puh-leeze, you've been chasing me for how many weeks now…actually, months now. That shit may fly with other girls, but you "ain't" all that! What I said was, "Well, if for any reason you end up having something come up or you lose interest then so be it. It wasn't meant to be." Oh that, had him change his tune real quick. "Oh no, I am not saying I don't want to see you because I do I just meant…" was what he then stuttered to get out. Whatevs! I don't have high hopes, but who knows maybe he will get his shit together.

I got a new job! I haven't worked in 2 years, so I am still having trouble being on time to work…I am always running between 2-7 minutes late. But, anywho let me tell you how I came about this job that's not in my field. I decided I wanted to work in an industry that would pay me back in benefits. I wanted to be in the spa, dentistry, or optometry field…Ideally, cosmetic surgeon's office, but you either need to know somebody or have medical experience, neither of which I had. SO, I took the optometry office.  At the 3 month mark I am going to cash in, because you get one pair of glasses comped and then everything else is wholesale. And we times wholesale price by 3…so, $4-500 sunglasses drop to $130-170.  Cha-ching!  We have 2 walls of Chanel and just got 80 new frames 2 days ago. You best believe, I ALREADY have my glasses and sunglasses picked out!  In the summertime,  I am going to start job hunting the cosmetic surgeon's office because this optometry job gives me the medical experience I need!!!!

Daddy Warbucks

D-R-A-M-A = Daddy Warbucks right now *sigh* I am at a MAJOR crossroads and am not sure whether I want to let it fizzle & die or do something drastic. I think I will wait to see how my April Sugar Hunt goes, but I am jumping ahead of the story…

Last Monday/Tuesday, he tells me he is only going to be paying half my rent beginning May. Obvi, it'stime to find a new guy.  I email him back alright and thanked him for helping as long as he had.  Then, I asked him whether or not him and his lunch date (my code term for ESCORT) were still hanging out. Btw, turns out he has known her for YEARS. He let's me know, as of recently they've been going to lunch and dinner dates and been to my city 2 blocks from where I live…"I told you I've never engaged in 'locker room' talk with the boys (or anyone) so no details, but yes, (her name has been omitted) and I have done more than just meet for lunch now (but not on my birthday) and yes, it turns out we hit it off very well that way too. Let's just say I've stopped obsessing about that first girlfriend of mine, old what's-her-name…haha!"

Okay, eeeewwww, and seriously, dude, she gets paid to "hit it off very well that way," but whatevs live in your fantasy world. Then he sends me this email:

Sexiest. Picture. Ever. (Found on the internet years ago. Hunted it up this morning. Just in a mood.)

　

Now, I have shown this pic to 4 ladies who all had the same general opinion about the pic, so I know I am NOT being jealous, bitchy, or trifling when I write: This chick is busted in the face and looks preggers…She "ain't" sexy, and surely this is NOT the "Sexiest. Picture. Ever".

Okay, so I don't respond to the pic because we have never sent naked pics to one another and she just is NOT hot to me, so I don't know what to say. A couple of days later he emails and text me he was sorry about the inappropriate pic.

Moi: The pic caught me off guard as I didn't get why you sent it to me and to be quite honest I think the woman is fugly. You obvi are attracted to her, so I wasn't sure what to say, not to hurt your feelings…as everyone has their own taste

DW: Hurt my feelings?!? Nope. I don't know the woman so I can't have feelings for HER. I find the image artistic. The lines, textures, lighting and casual…softness of mood. Those things are more to me more attractive than physical perfection. And that's the kind of stuff I used to go to Library Vixen to find not the sometimes over the top stuff there now…haha You once sent me pics of some women you thought was hot. I wanted to share too I guess….Apologies again. And it's like the pics you had done in the simple cotton outfit. Soft, casual, relaxed, feminine, wow! I'll shut up now. Wasn't implying anything Don't panic."

His response reminds me of one of my favorite movie lines from the movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". It's when Kristen Bell's character has had enough of Russell Brand's character bullshit and calls him on it "My name is Aldous Snow bullshit bullshit bullshit!"  Basically, everything coming out of Russel Brand's/DW's mouth is absolute bullshit…and such a long line of bullshit on top of that.  You sent me a picture because of the artistic quality?! Really?? Why not send me a flower or some such thing, instead of an ugly naked chick? For clarification, the "pics of some women you thought was hot" were when another SB & I were planning our Halloween pinup costumes together I sent him a pinup I wanted to copy. Another time was to show him the boob size I wanted. I didn't just send him pics with a sentence "This chick is hot!" The "simple cotton outfit" is of me in a tank top and pants. So, I email him something like that but much nicer, OF COURSE!

Part of my email to him:

"Hahahaha:-) You are too funny! No, I do not think you were "implying anything" you are fucking around with your lady friend (figuratively & literally), so the last thing I was thinking was you were trying to insinuate anything, silly guy :- )"

Part of his email back:

"I'm really confused by the tone of this. "Fucking around with your lady friend" is not your usual style, and smacks of jealous lover which makes absolutely no sense at all. YOU are the one who encouraged me to "get some interim" (interim to what is a complete mystery to me) practically mocking me for being too lame to do that. If you're not happy with me being friends with (her name has been omitted), I need to know that. I think I'd almost like to know that."

"Fucking around" is one of my FAV lines to use…up there with "Anywho," "whatevs," and "pure cane sugar". How I speak in this blog is how I speak…there really is no difference in person versus this blog EXCEPT you actually hear my voice. I told him to get some "interim punanni" when he told me about going to lunch with the escort…this was before I knew he had been seeing her for years w/o getting any.  If I had known that I would have been even more "mocking". Although, I didn't think I was mocking him, but I just pointed out how it made no sense to go to lunch with a "sure thing" pay for her time and the lunch, but never get anything out of it.

Anywho, obvi, he WANTS me to be jealous. He says he needs to know if I don't want them to be friends, and that he'd like that. Let's dissect that…

Let's say I was jealous: That would be stupid if you have been following this blog from the beginning you know for most of last year he spoke about his previous SB and how jelly he was that she was with someone else…although, she treated him like crap. She has never really left his life and they still randomly speak. There is another chick who he bought a car for who is going through some things who he randomly talks to me about too. Last time I saw him, he handed me an "anniversary" card that I thought was soooo sweet of him. UNTIL, I saw another card in there with another chick's name on it. You see what I am getting at IF I were to be jealous it would've come and gone long ago, so with this "new to me", but apparently not-so-new chick, the escort, it's like been here, done that, over it, you, & this whole damn thing.

On the other hand: I am NOT fucking him and I feel like to kick her out of the way would be a signal that I would step into her spot. Not too sure I want to be fucking him…This time last year, yes, he was handing out the money whenever I asked. Now, it's ONLY rent and he just told me he is ONLY going to start paying half. My punanni is drier than the Sahara Desert after that.

I text him that I would like to chat face-to-face as I do feel that I inadvertently slighted him and would like to apologize for that…also, to figure out has he really run out of money or is this all a big ruse to get me to kick the escort out and start sleeping with him. We're supposed to hang Friday, perfect because then I will go out with the black guy.  Friday could be a very trying and tiring day…Guys and their drah-mah…

Sugar Hunt

Either way it goes with DW, I need to look for a new SD or at least try to put myself back out there, so the month of April I am back on the Sugar Hunt. My strategy is for 3 sites SA (although, I hear it's gone to shit), AM (because I always have luck out on there), and SD (because I am in a rich boyfriend place and it's the site to find one). I polled on FB Sugar about lowering my age…although, I always get told I look way younger than what I am.  I will probs only lower it for SA. That's IF I decide to at all.

　

Okay, I am stopping now…I have more to say, but rehashing the DW drama has drained me PLUS, I need to work off some of this ass on the treadmill then hit up Dailey Method. 

♥ Butterfly Kisses ♥

I'm ready!

Heaven help me for the way I am

Save me from these evil deeds

Before I get them done

I know tomorrow brings the consequence

At hand

But I keep livin' this day

Like the next will never come
"Criminal" - Fiona Apple

To quote the famous cartoon figure, Spongebob Squarepants, "I'm ready, I'm ready…" 

This is MY year, bitches!!!!  I say that "bitches" with l-o-v-e, btw. Anywho, I made a list of 6 goals I wanted to accomplish this year, NOT New Year's Resolutions, but actual goals I wanted to accomplish…And I am open, willing, and able to take any opportunity that comes my way to get them scratched off the list.

Non-sugar stuff…

So, I wrote earlier about being open to a REAL relationship, of course, I am not looking for a janitor. Unless, he's like that Kanye West raps "He got that ambition, baby look in his eyes…This week he's moppin' floors, next week it's the fries."  Not literally, but you get my point, right?? I sent my application into MillionaireMatchmaker.com and got an email back that I had been accepted. Woohoo! Although, I really be "woohoo'ing" it up when I get some communication that a Millionaire would like to meet me.

On another random note, while out and about some dude very politely approached me. I gave him my GV number for 2 reasons: he was chocolate and well mannered.  Do you know how LONG it's been since one of my fellow chocolate men approached me? It's like they don't even see me, but whateves…their loss.  I called him back after my move and Vegas trip, which was about 3 weeks later (he phoned me a few times before I called).  We went out Friday night…he talked about himself the entire 1^st half of the date.  Then, finally I had to let him know "politely" to shut the f*ck up. On a pot date, I would've probs not said much, but we are talking about a man I want to POSSIBLY spend some major time with in RL.  Since the date, each time he's called he's talked about how much he can't wait for me to call him "my boyfriend", or talk about our future together, etc…on our first date he told the waiter that my empty ring finger was "just wrong" and he plans on filling it. All of this is great and nice, but so overwhelming.  Like calm the f*ck down, dude…you like me I get it, now pump your brakes. He from the beginning said he likes to spoil who he dates, pay rent, take shopping, etc., but we'll see…

Daddy Warbucks

Not much going on here I did get the oddest combination of Valentine's gifts from him and I actually started reading more into it that was necessary, but thankfully my fellow SB's helped me take a chill pill. When I came home from Vegas my new Serta mattress set was awaiting…Ahhhhhhhh, it is like sleeping on Cloud 9!  I honestly, thought I had a bad sleeping pattern, but it turns out I just had a sh*tty ass mattress:- ( But, I also got a Victoria's Secret gift card from him.  Lingerie and a mattress…Hhhhmmm, but he is sooo not the pressuring type at all.  Although, I am sure he would love to get a lil taste;-) Hahaha:- ) We are hanging out next week to celebrate his birthday.

T & Co.

Is it the end, my friends???? I spoke with Boho about this when I came back from Vegas and she was like…well, I will give you her opinion after I tell you my thoughts.

A couple of things about our relationship have me putting forth absolutely NO EFFORT lately.

1.       I heart sex with T&Co. and since we see each ONLY once a month (yes, I know that was my choice) I am really keeping my eyes open for a new dick. I need waaaaaaayyyyy more sex than I am getting. Although, I know replacing his skills can be a challenge

2.       We had a recent incident where he demonstrated a paranoia level at his wife spotting him that I had never seen before and caused some friction at the time.

3.       His wife out of the blue has decided to go on all the fun trips he takes this year and bring the kiddies along. Hawaii, La, NYC, etc…I can't go on any of them this year :-( This is the first year that I would be totally free to go on ALL the trips with him and I cannot go.

4.       He recently has started keeping receipts. Now, you may wonder "Huh?" But, this is a man who NEVER once when he signed a receipt would even look at it, let alone put it in his wallet to save, and file later.

5.       In Vegas, he was quite stingy with the money and for the first time said "Wow, this trip is getting costly."  Btw, it was probably the cheapest trips we had ever been on simply because I pretty much chilled in the room.

My thoughts

: You are married and cannot be there for me mentally, physically, or emotionally when I need you. So, if you step it up sexually and financially we are golden. Don't get me wrong he has been in my life for three years and is a friend, great advice giver, etc., but I think he is either getting TOO DAMN COMFORTABLE or doesn't have the money he use to.

Boho's thoughts

: His wife has become suspicious and started questioning some things making him paranoid and worried about what money is going out to me.

Either way we are SUPPOSE to go to Spring Training in March, but I have some family issues I need to take care of too. To be continued…

"All publicity AIN'T good publicity"

As a part of the sugar community and I have "friended" Brandon Wade the "Seeking Arrangements.com" dude.  I see what he post on his wall in my feed.  He has been doing many talk shows and mag articles obvi trying to drum up biz for his different ventures/websites.  I have listened to my fellow SB's complain about the types of guys who are on the SA.com sites more often who are obvi looking for escort pricing or escorts period.  I believe it has to do with the "anyone can be a sd if you have a few extra bucks" philosophy he has. NO, not ANYONE can be a SD, IMO. A few hundred dollars a month is more like a nice friend, but not necessarily a SD. I have had some "good friends" in my time, but I def wouldn't consider them SD's.

Let's take a look at this pic and find all the things wrong with the picture….like when you use to play that game when you were younger.

1.       "It's $250 for the first date."  Uuuuhhh, escort much???

2.       The options are exactly the STEREOTYPES sugar relationships have to battle: "a father and daughter," "a 19 year prostitute and a 40 year old client"…

3.       B*tch you are in a magazine, GQ mag at that, you couldn't borrow a damn dress from someone, instead of looking like you are about to wash the car in your Payless Shoes.

4.       Lastly, why does she look so scared and/or timid.

Mean Girls

This section is something that those who are a part of the "In Crowd" will understand. Otherwise, move on to the next section…

Who says?!...you have to have sex with your SD in order for you to NOT be "pulling the wool over his eyes". As if you are playing a huge practical joke...Where is it in the Sugar Baby Player's Handbook (football reference) that in order for you to be a honest & true sugar you must fuck one another? Let me tell you where = no m*ther f*cking where!

It never ceases to amaze me how jealousy pokes it's lil head out.  Just because "you" have sex with everyone doesn't mean I do. I don't do it in my real life so why would I in my sugar life? I also don't lie and pretend that I will give up the booty. If someone approaches you and says they want to help with NO STRINGS ATTACHED...you would be an absolute DUMBASS to not accept if you needed the help.

Don't be mad at me bcuz you are bending over backwards fucking every Tom, Dick, and Harry, because you haven't learned how truly valuable you are! Like L'oreal's tagline states, "Because I'm worth it."

Now, back to our regularly scheduled blog entry...

Right vs. Wrong, Morals, Ethics

Is there a right or wrong reason to be in The Sugar World?

Is it right or wrong that as soon as you get your allowance you bed someone?

Is it right or wrong that you would sleep with or spend time with a man based on his bank account and the allowance and gifts he promised you?

I can't say and who's to judge, as what is okay in one person's eyes maybe viewed as horrible in another's...but lest we not forget about stones and glass houses:-)

Don't let anyone define Pt I:

An Allowance

I notice a lot of newbies ask how much they should ask for or what their allowance should be. I can't tell you what your allowance should be, as I use factors like cost of living, bills I need to pay, tuition cost, etc. Now, that's not to say if you live in Idaho and with your parents you don't want a 5-7k range, but it maybe a lil more challenging to attain.

Also, understand that USUALLY with a higher allowance the guys like you to spend more time on them. Now more time doesn't mean physical time it could be texting or emailing quite frequently. Basically, you are like a girlfriend with your emotional support…is that every relationship/arrangement, no, of course, not.

Some ladies may think 1-3k is good, some may think 3-5k, some may think 5-7k, etc. each lady has their own opinion. When it comes to a specific number I try to keep my opinion to myself. What I will say is, as long as the figure you accept as an allowance leaves you feeling good about your choice and not used, abused, or naïve you're golden.

Please don't accept an allowance you believe is below your desired amount, as you shouldn't feel like you are selling your soul. Sugar is meant to be fun, it's not do or die:- )

Beauty tip:

False eyelashes

Sometimes we forget about how the lil things can make all the difference. False eyelashes are a beautiful natural enhancement that look great whether you are someone who wears a full face of makeup or likes to just put on a lil gloss and mascara. It makes your eyes all the more alluring and pop! Give it a whirl next time you go on a Pot or RL date:- )

♥ Butterfly Kisses ♥

Moving on up…

Well we're movin on up,
To the east side.
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Movin on up,
To the east side.
We finally got a piece of the pie.
Theme from The Jeffersons - Ja'net Dubois

I am moving, again….Well, technically, but not really. I complained about my upstairs neighbor enough and wrote an appropriate complaint letter...turns out it would be easier for the apt complex to move me than deal with the upstairs neighbor. Whatevs! So, they are moving me one floor below the penthouse level for same rent and everything:-) Daddy Warbucks was happy when I said the "same rent" part, because when I said the one floor below the penthouse I could see his mind calculating the price differences. Hahaha:-)

Daddy Warbucks

Oh jeez!!!! He brought the drama this time around I am going to bullet point it to try to sum it up easier.

×          He gives me a card when he first comes to pick me up for lunch. The card states how it was 1 year ago today we met and how much I mean to him, blah, blah, blah. Okay, so I was touched for 2.2 seconds and let me tell you why…As he was looking for his wallet in his briefcase he takes stuff out and I see another card with his other sponsee's name on it. Yes, I know there are others and no, it doesn't bother me as long as he does what he says he'll do for me. BUT, can you be a lil smoother in NOT letting me see that you do the same shit for both of us. I don't have lil luv notes from T&Co. laying around my apt. You know why? Because I know how to get my shit together!

×          We had lunch at O3. Let me just say I was unimpressed with the food. It was okay, but it started off bad. I asked what the soup of the day was, and the waitress stated they hadn't made it yet. We were there 2 hours AFTER they opened. WTF?! Get it together people…

×          We go to the Symphony, and I had those old people in there going crazy. Brown skin, 5' 9", high stilettos, cute lil dress….Hahaha:- ) They were breaking their neck to look at me and whisper to their closest friend. Anywho, we left early because I wanted to talk to DW about his way of interacting with me. Sometimes, he can say something and it can come across as sarcastic because he doesn't give a facial expression to let me know he is just kidding or something. I know it's because he is a nerd and a bit socially awkward, but that doesn't mean it doesn't come off as mean time after time. We worked it out and he stated he had been told that all of his life.

×          We then go to my favorite spot Jardiniere that's where the shit hit the fan. Oh, I forgot that there is a wine spot close by and we went in there and he bought me a bottle. Sooo, I said we should play truth or dare…He needs a lil spice in his life! He drank 6 glasses of wine since we had been together so, I knew it was good times to come…

×          He proceeds to tell me that it was 536 days since he had sex, that he went to lunch with an escort, he thought if he sex with her he'd be cheating on me…and so much more

×          536 got changed to 571 when he emailed me today, as he did a more recent check.

×          He decided to see an escort and she required new clients to go lunch with her. He ended up "friending" her and swapping recipes. He has since gone out to lunch with her 2 addnt'l times and yet to have sex. I was so annoyed and told him "You haven't had sex in 536 days and you won't with this woman?! It is like a plane on the tarmac being flagged in. She is flagging you into her punanni and you are saying 'no thanks'. What in the world?!"

×          He stated maybe he hadn't yet because he thought he would be cheating on me. I then said, "Let me see your hand. You see that ring on your finger? In the hierarchy of women in your life your wife is at the top, so if you are cheating on anyone it is her. So, you might want to wrap your brain around that."

×          I let him know he had no game and I was at a Level 10 on the game meter, so he might just want to "keep hope alive" or learn from someone with more game. I then spent some time explaining what "game" was.

×          I told him that personally I think he needed some "interim punanni" until he gets the ideal punanni that obviously he had in mind. I told him he should be getting a lil somethin' until he gets to what he really wants.

On the upside, I need a new mattress set and asked him to check out a location near him…hoping he would offer to buy. Woohoo! I just got an email from him saying that I should get a nice mattress set and he'll call it a Valentine's Day gift. "And no, I'm not implying anything. No test drive necessary haha!" Such a nice guy!

　

T & Co.

As always I thoroughly enjoy hanging out with T&Co. which is why I can only see him for a little bit of time. One of the downfalls of choosing a married SD is because if you do end up having feelings it can be hard. Anywho…

A couple of weeks ago, we did meetup at my fav hotel & spa. Which was awesome, he needed a lil time away since his mother's recent passing and I can always go for spa time and good lovin'! I got a great facial and massage. My chin had a bit of a breakout and it needed some help, so that was good. I stopped using my fav product, or I should say I keep meaning to order it again and get sidetracked I get on my computer….and my face is showing it:- ( The massage was good because after being sick for a month then working out my body was hurting…I had a massage therapist who herself was a runner and understood what specific parts of my body needed more attention. Gotta luv when they know just where to touch! S-e-x I have said from the beginning of the blog with him is awesome and this was one of those times it was even better than normal…if that makes sense. Let me just say juices were flowing….hahaha:-)

We are going to Vegas for Valentine's…well, actually he is going on a business trip and I am going along! Last night, he text me "". He is so darn cute! We are going for Spring Training for the SF Giants in March, as we norms do. Yay! Fun times!  Oh yeah, he gave me my Uggs when I saw him...I want something from Tiffany's...hopefully, in Vegas!

Work it Out, Girl!

"How your waist anorexic and then your a$$ is colossal"

Dance (A$$) Remix - Big Sean ft Nicki Minaj

What do you all do to keep in shape???? Personally, I do an array of things, whenever I am feeling up to it. I am not a gym rat, as the gym bores the heck out of me. There is a gym in my building and I think since I moved here last June I have been between 5-10 times max. My philosophy is go run instead of treadmill, go up & down stairs instead of elliptical, etc. Outside of classes get your ass outside and do something! Of course, I live on the west coast where even in January it is warm enough to go out and exercise:-)

Around October/November timeframe I decided I no longer wanted to go off the number on the scale I wanted to be as long, lean, and tone as possible without going into the scary Madonna

 or Cameron Diaz arena…Toned but still soft! Working out my arms for the first time in my life, so baby steps...and I had the hardest time taking this pic because I had to twist weird which is why my ass looks weirdly poked out.  I had started doing toning off apps I downloaded then got back into running and added on Zumba. Now, please, please, please don't think I am working out all the time because I am NOT! But, what I am doing has got all my friends and random peeps complementing me on how toned my legs are or tight & high my booty is. Hahaha:- ) The booty part cracked me up! I have always liked and got noted for my ass, but it's funny now. 

I think it has a lot to do with genetics, because like I said I am not working out everyday, all day, but the combination of what I am doing is def paying off. Go me!!!!

Money Talk versus Sex Talk

If we talked about money the way the guys talk about sex it would be game over before it even started! It's very interesting to note since society is governed/heavily influenced by men throughout history what is deemed acceptable and what is deemed unacceptable. It is totally OKAY and the NORM to talk about sex, have advertisements selling sex versus money talks …I mean, hell, the porn business is bigger than NFL, NBA, and baseball industries COMBINED, etc. Sex is good vs. The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.

On pot's profiles or even just their introductory/first inbox msg it is sex, sex, sex, and more S-E-X! "Do you like oral sex" or "Lady in the sheets but a freak in the bed" or "I will give you $50 for every pair of dirty panties you send me" or "Can I see more pics of you...ALL of you, of course!"

But can you imagine if we put things like the following on our profiles or in our introductory email: "I can do bad all by myself" or "Money talks, broke asses walk" or "You got the dime...I've got the time" or "I can pretend to give a damn, if you can meet my monthly allowance."

Like I wrote before "it would be game over before it even started!" …and "ain't" that some shit?!

　

Newbie Tip: Giving Emotional Support

I read blogs and such, and I note a LOT of newbies that believe sex is all the guys are after...as if, as long as we're not fucking and I don't get an allowance. It's okay! Uuuuuhhhh, hell to the naw! Sex is NOT the only thing missing out of a great deal of these gentleman's lives, but emotional support, as well. Listening to how their day has gone, their likes & dislikes, their ups & downs, etc. See, either their wife/girlfriend no longer cares or they don't have someone in their life to listen to them and genuinely or seemingly care.

But, let's get one thing straight when someone feeds you the "let's get to know one another better before we make it an 'official' arrangement" line...Ask yourself, "How long am I willing to communicate (email, phone calls, txt msgs) with him on a daily basis before I start to feel used?" What I mean is, I note ladies who will be in this "getting to know you" phase for a month or more where they will be communicating with the guy EVERYDAY damn near, for a month or so with no allowance or gifts...Basically, you have become someone's listening ear with no pay out:-( In a "getting to know you" phase with a proper suitor there is the payout this guy may become your boyfriend and possible future husband. In a "getting to know you" phase with a random female or male there is the payout this person may become a true, loyal friend. I have heard more often than not the "getting to know you" phase with a pot that last sooooo long (btw, this really pertains to in-state Pot's...more tricky with an out of state or country Pot's) in the end after you've put forth all your time and energy the guy turns into a magician and *poof* he disappears when you press him for an allowance :-(

Offering emotional support takes plenty of time, energy, and effort which is why psychologists are paid so well and most people have superficial "friendships". You know the "friendships" I mean, where you run into someone fake hug, fake "I haven't seen you in so long", fake "we should hang out", ask questions about them but you really don't truly care about the answers, etc. B*tch, I don't care about you and you damn sure don't care about me! But, I digress...

I am NOT saying this about ALL Pots, but I am just wanting all SB's-in-Training to understand that sometimes the long drawn out "getting to know you" phase can be bullsh*t just like "the test drive" or sending numerous pics are bullsh*t.

♥ Butterfly Kisses ♥